Have you ever found yourself living your life with a looming shadow of the past? Something that hinders you from seeing the essence of living, blocking your attention from the things that are important now, preventing you to focus on what is in the present, and making you do things for the wrong reasons. Wallowing in the gloomy pit. Everything bland. Forcing a smile. Pretending, and failing, to be preppy.
Some logical moments tell you that the best thing is to just leave the pieces and start anew. No point really in knowing the details, no point in throwing tantrums, no point in sharing what's going through ur mind, no point in wishing it's going to be the same, no point in knowing the updates. But you just move on a little, and be strong a little, and find yourself back in the company of the looming shadow again.
Waking up each day aimless and wandering and waiting for something, anything to bring you out of the gloomy pit. Doing things for the wrong reasons. Going in circles. Blinking back tears.
11.07.2006
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